I Had an Abortion
I was 17 when I found out I was pregnant. Initially I was so excited! I shared the news with a close family member who told me that I was too young and immature …and that I couldn’t afford a baby at the time. What, at first seemed like the happiest day of my life, was now filled with sadness. She told me that my only option was abortion. I didn’t know what else to do. She said that she’d take me and pay for it and no one else would know! It seemed like such a quick and simple solution! And then I could put it behind me. But could I?
It was a number of years later when I was listening to a Christian radio program. The audio was describing a precious unborn child in the mother’s womb during an abortion procedure! I couldn’t believe what I was hearing! The unborn baby was panicking as the heartbeat began to accelerate and the child tried to escape the abortionist tools. How could that be? Because it is a living human being and he/she is alive! My heart began to break.
I sat there and tears streamed down my face. I found myself feeling this deep sense of loss. I had been in denial. I believed that the abortion was for the best. All of the sudden, I began to understand the magnitude of the loss. I was devastated. All I kept asking myself was, “How could I have taken the life of my unborn baby?” It was because I didn’t understand. I was deceived into believing that it was the “right” thing to do! I was so very wrong!
I cried out to God and told Him I was sorry that I’d had the abortion. I repented and asked God for forgiveness and to help me heal from the deep pain of loss and regret I was experiencing. God led me to two counselors, and a post-abortion Bible study. Those individuals helped me understand the love of God and His forgiveness and grace. He answered my prayers.
I accepted Christ as my Savior when I was 12, and He has never left me. He knew me from the foundation of the world. I am a child of God. I know that there is nothing that can separate me from His love. It hasn’t been an easy road coming to grips with what happened to me. Many a tear has been shed as a result of the abortion. I lost my first child.
Lost Baby at 21 Weeks
Years later, I married and we became pregnant! The pregnancy was going along well, when at 21 ½ weeks gestation, I went into pre-term labor. David Nathan was born! He lived 3 hours and then he was gone. My dream of having a child was shattered. I wanted this baby! I envisioned all I would do with him! I imagined all the places we’d go and all the things we’d do together. I suffered great pain and heartache as a result of that loss.
I prayed so fervently for an answer to what happened to me. I spent hours reading through information and going over research in hopes of discovering why I lost the baby. In the book What to Expect When You Are Expecting, it stated that you can have problems in future pregnancies if you’ve had a prior abortion. What?! I couldn’t believe what I was reading. Could something have happened to me during the procedure? That prompted me to go back to the abortionist office to get my medical file! I had to find out.
In the medical information, the abortionist stated that he’d given me all the information regarding risks and complications, the development of the unborn, the detailed description of the abortion procedure, and the emotional risks to my health. The deepest pain came as I read the release form that stated I could be sterile as a result of the procedure, meaning I might not be able to have children. How could the doctor say that he gave me all the Information when I wasn’t told anything? I didn’t even know what doctor performed the operation. I would not have had the abortion if I’d had a doctor fully explain the possibility that I could suffer severe consequences. The abortion wouldn’t have been worth the risk.
Women Need More Information, Not Less
God brought me into ministry through that loss. I have a passion to reach out to abortion-minded mothers to help them understand what is about to happen to them if they go through with the abortion. And I want those who’ve had abortions to know that there is forgiveness and healing at the foot of the cross.
I have counseled so many individuals with similar testimonies! They tell me that they didn’t talk to a doctor and weren’t given all the information prior to the abortion procedure and sadly, they’ve suffered so deeply as a result. Women deserve to know the impact abortion will have on them physically and emotionally. This website is designed with you in mind! We are seeking to give you as much information as possible. The more informed someone is, the better the chance they’ll realize that life is precious and their baby deserves to be born! If you are reading this, please take time to think and pray about what you are going to do. Abortion isn’t the answer!
I don’t want you to live a life of regret. Your baby is not a mistake. He or she isn’t an accident. God can and will help you get through this. Please consider calling one of the organizations listed under resources! There are caring individuals available to help you make the right decision. A decision you can live with.